College Prep 101

It’s the back-to-school season. Not the back-to-school season where little kids clog the aisles in search of a new box of Crayolas, though. No, the back-to-school season I speak of is more of a To-College season, where stores are filled with moms pushing shopping carts with two crates and a desk lamp while their teenage flip-flop-wearing child examines every piece of bedding in the store for the sacred marking “Twin XL”. Those checklists give it all away. That and the fact that they’re spending their time testing different chairs to find the most comfortable one because they fail to realize that whatever tiny room they get shoved into won’t be large enough for them to have said chair or half the crap their checklist calls for. I can understand this eluding the average recent high school graduate, but why Mom and Dad have deluded themselves into believing that their college room was twice the size it really was I don’t know.

This is funny to me partially because I was one of those checklist-toters four years ago. These days, however, I know that I have room for that chair. The question is, rather, do I have the money for it? That remains to be seen.

As I cruise the aisles of these department stores and spot the soon-to-be college kids, I find myself wondering what kind of students they’ll end up as. Sometimes it’s easy. Some people just scream Future State School Frat Boys of America. And sometimes, just sometimes, you can catch people practicing for what they clearly hope to be their future clique.

I stepped into the electronics section at Target today to check for some CD jewel cases only to overhear a gem of a comment. Two guys are standing there contemplating the shelf of hard drives and DVD burners, presumably discussing how impressively large some hard drive is when one says to the other, “They’re making ones now that have, like, tetrabytes of space.” I had to stop myself from laughing aloud because I figured that it would be a little hard to pretend that CD-R prices are that funny. But, wow, kid, you’re not going to fool any geek alive with that stuff.

It’s really too bad that I wasn’t wearing my Google shirt at the time.

2 Responses to “College Prep 101”

  • You can always offer those young kids to take care of their chair while they are in their tiny dorm room for a little rent. That way you’d get a chair and some money.

  • That’s an excellent idea, Roadie, but I don’t know how many of them are going to be moving to Cornell. 😉

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