Tag Archive for 'college'

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Imparting Wisdom

Today Cornell's dorms open to the freshmen, which means that stores are crawling with parents and their soon-to-be college kids getting all those things that they held off on buying until they actually saw the room they'll be in. It's worse than before. Being me, I was silly enough to go out today to pick up a couple of the things that we need that I can currently afford--namely a dishrack and some filing tabs. While searching through the office supplies at Wal-Mart (don't ask), I saw a girl with her family picking up various desk supplies, including a stapler. "I recommend getting a little stapler and keeping it in your backpack," I told her suddenly. "Because you'll inevitably be about to turn your homework in and will discover that you've forgotten to staple it." I didn't mention the likelihood that she might not finish her homework until after she'd left her dorm and stapler behind. I mean, her mother was standing right there. She turned and brightened. "Thanks! That's a really good idea! Are you a student at Cornell? What are you studying?" "I'm starting graduate school there," I told her. "I study aerospace engineering." Bug-eyed look. "How about you?" "Nutritional science. But I'm a freshman obviously." I smiled. "It's okay. I remember the Wal-Mart run when I first started college." "Yeah," she said. "You get to your room and start to unpack and realize that you need more hangers." She turned back to the shelves. "Would you recommend an automatic pencil sharpener?" "Actually, as an engineer, I prefer mechnical pencils. And," I reached for a Mars plastic eraser, "I recommend these erasers. They don't leave smudges." "Thank you!" she said as she snapped up a 3-pack. I smiled again. "Have fun in college. You'll love it."

College Prep 101

It's the back-to-school season. Not the back-to-school season where little kids clog the aisles in search of a new box of Crayolas, though. No, the back-to-school season I speak of is more of a To-College season, where stores are filled with moms pushing shopping carts with two crates and a desk lamp while their teenage flip-flop-wearing child examines every piece of bedding in the store for the sacred marking "Twin XL". Those checklists give it all away. That and the fact that they're spending their time testing different chairs to find the most comfortable one because they fail to realize that whatever tiny room they get shoved into won't be large enough for them to have said chair or half the crap their checklist calls for. I can understand this eluding the average recent high school graduate, but why Mom and Dad have deluded themselves into believing that their college room was twice the size it really was I don't know. This is funny to me partially because I was one of those checklist-toters four years ago. These days, however, I know that I have room for that chair. The question is, rather, do I have the money for it? That remains to be seen. As I cruise the aisles of these department stores and spot the soon-to-be college kids, I find myself wondering what kind of students they'll end up as. Sometimes it's easy. Some people just scream Future State School Frat Boys of America. And sometimes, just sometimes, you can catch people practicing for what they clearly hope to be their future clique. I stepped into the electronics section at Target today to check for some CD jewel cases only to overhear a gem of a comment. Two guys are standing there contemplating the shelf of hard drives and DVD burners, presumably discussing how impressively large some hard drive is when one says to the other, "They're making ones now that have, like, tetrabytes of space." I had to stop myself from laughing aloud because I figured that it would be a little hard to pretend that CD-R prices are that funny. But, wow, kid, you're not going to fool any geek alive with that stuff. It's really too bad that I wasn't wearing my Google shirt at the time.